Should Men Still Strive To Be The Nice Guy.

By: Timsomor November 21, 2010



After talking with a good buddy this weekend about his adventures out and about in the club scene in the city (Baltimore), he told me how things  have really changed in the way you have to approach women. I told him I know that, that's why I only look now because I find it very hard to even know if the way I greeted a young lady, or any women was acceptable.

He got on me about how I was just too damn polite. Saying that most of the women you see now a days can't even remember when a male in their own homes have ever spoken to them like that. I began to think and I  told him well that's just the way I was brought up. He then reminded me of just how long we have known each other and how our families were almost the same, and that my matters were not the result of a stable family but of a stable individual. Even thinking about it now, I realize this is how we have stayed in contact for over twenty years. We both chose to do good, to not follow in steps of family members, and to treat women differently than what we had seen was the norm.

And as I have seemed to stay the same he had changed all together. Over the past two years I have notice a big change in him. One is that he has taken on the persona of the thing we both said was the worse thing you could be, The Player.

After losing contact for all that time I saw that new conversations made me feel almost stupid. He explained how on a regular basic he would knock women, and for me to have the same result all I had to do is just not care. I have tried his frame of thinking once when I was about 27, with some success and no real women coming out of that experience I decided to stay me. A very lonely brother who would only get good chances maybe once or twice a year with good so called quality women, who's standards would disqualify me for reason like not being a avid church goer or that thing women say they want but really don't, being to nice.

I guess we will have a full color picture of Bigfoot before the sisters can explain what they really mean when they use that term.  I thought is was the job of a man to treat a women with respect and show her she is his equal not only behind closed doors but in public as well. However, sadly this is not the case. My buddies uncle explained how back in the day some men were setup most of the times by their friends who thought you might hit if off with a young lady. He even explained her you could be setup by the young ladies father, Aunt,  or any elder that felt you were a nice gentleman who could benefit by meeting someone of the opposite sex just like yourself.

My last incarnation of this saying was about a year ago when after meeting a young lady while coming out a building at one of my customer's offices.  You always believe this time you could win over a woman by stating your life accomplishments first like, not having any criminal record [Nope], not having any children [Nope], having good credit [Nope], having a job [Nope], having a degree [Nope], living on your own [Nope], and  just being a good catch [Nope].  Well, it may not have come out like that but I did make it a point to put it out there in general conversation. After passing her on many visits while working at this location the only thing that got her to call me was I was friends with the owner of the place and she thought I could assist in helping her get rid of her problem.

It made me wonder should I not try to always offer but let people ask for things. Needless to say I have not heard from her since. Although, the good guy believed he was helping someone, the player would have laid down the rules of what was going to happen before the assist ever happened.

So that's me, the nice guy. I wonder which are you?