New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries proposed to Kim Kardashian with a $2 million, 20.5 karat engagement ring. If we know Kim and her dating record (which we really had to dig to learn about), we expect the new couple to have a small, private wedding and then to retreat into a life of modesty, never to be heard from again.
Oh, Mitt Romney. You seem like a nice Mormon guy who wants everyone to have healthcare, and you kind of remind us of Bill Pullman in "Independence Day." But please, for goodness sake, don't try to be funny, such as when your campaign team sent President Obama's Chicago office a box of leftover pizza for some reason. That's more like Bill Pullman in "Spaceballs."
It sure was embarrassing when President Obama dated the Buckingham Palace guest book as "May 24, 2008." But it was even more embarrassing when petty right-wing bloggers like Michelle Malkin semi-seriously questioned whether Obama "had too much of that Guinness beer" in Ireland. Luckily, she saved the post with a teleprompter joke, which are always funny and original.
The day after the Navy killed Osama bin Laden, Disneyproved that it's the quintessential American corporation by doing the most American thing possible: filing applications to trademark the name "SEAL Team 6." As much as we would like to ride through a spooky "Haunted Abbottabad Compound" at the Magic Kingdom, we were pleased to see that Disney eventually revoked their applications "out of deference for the Navy."
Oh, Mitt Romney. You seem like a nice Mormon guy who wants everyone to have healthcare, and you kind of remind us of Bill Pullman in "Independence Day." But please, for goodness sake, don't try to be funny, such as when your campaign team sent President Obama's Chicago office a box of leftover pizza for some reason. That's more like Bill Pullman in "Spaceballs."
It sure was embarrassing when President Obama dated the Buckingham Palace guest book as "May 24, 2008." But it was even more embarrassing when petty right-wing bloggers like Michelle Malkin semi-seriously questioned whether Obama "had too much of that Guinness beer" in Ireland. Luckily, she saved the post with a teleprompter joke, which are always funny and original.
The day after the Navy killed Osama bin Laden, Disneyproved that it's the quintessential American corporation by doing the most American thing possible: filing applications to trademark the name "SEAL Team 6." As much as we would like to ride through a spooky "Haunted Abbottabad Compound" at the Magic Kingdom, we were pleased to see that Disney eventually revoked their applications "out of deference for the Navy."
On Wednesday, Ed Schultz flippantly referred to Fox News anchor Laura Ingraham as a "right-wing slut" on his radio show, and was promptly suspended without pay from his show on MSNBC. To Schultz's credit, he has since apologized publicly, but his use of such a disrespectful and sexist slur against a colleague is beyond baffling. Of course, on other networks, the only note would have been that it wasn't inflammatory enough.
Kansas state Rep. Pete Degraaf set a new standard of odd metaphors in a recent debate on whether or not women should pay for separate insurance policies to cover abortion. Specifically, he compared accidental pregnancy to a flat tire that could have been avoided. "We do need to plan ahead, don't we, in life? I have a spare tire on my car."
Roger Ailes is probably indirectly responsible for 90% of the people who appear on this meter each week, but this time he revealed his own personal crazy stripes in a profile in New York magazine. The article revealed that he and David Axelrod had a falling out during the '08 campaign after Ailes revealed that he thought Obama planned on creating a national police force based off a campaign speech in which Obama discussed volunteerism. At Fox, the insanity evidently comes from the top down.
We learned the true depths of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's "small government" philosophy this week when he refused to send federal aid to Joplin, MO after a devastating tornado left the number of dead in the triple digits. "If there is support for a supplemental," said Cantor, "It would be accompanied by support for having pay-fors to that supplemental." We thought Ron Swanson was a fictional character from Pawnee, IN, but apparently he moonlights as a prominent member of Congress.
Harold Camping may be nearly 90 years old, but the degree of fear and paranoia he planted into the minds of his thousands of followers is inexcusable. After the Christian radio host predicted that the Rapture would happen on May 21 "without any shadow of a doubt," and then it didn't so much happen, he had a lot of explaining to do to his followers -- many of whom sold all their earthly possessions in preparation for their ascension to heaven. The fact that he now claims that his math was wrong and the world is now coming to an end on October 21 officially places him in a category of delusion that can only be described as "Trumpian."
Kansas state Rep. Pete Degraaf set a new standard of odd metaphors in a recent debate on whether or not women should pay for separate insurance policies to cover abortion. Specifically, he compared accidental pregnancy to a flat tire that could have been avoided. "We do need to plan ahead, don't we, in life? I have a spare tire on my car."
Roger Ailes is probably indirectly responsible for 90% of the people who appear on this meter each week, but this time he revealed his own personal crazy stripes in a profile in New York magazine. The article revealed that he and David Axelrod had a falling out during the '08 campaign after Ailes revealed that he thought Obama planned on creating a national police force based off a campaign speech in which Obama discussed volunteerism. At Fox, the insanity evidently comes from the top down.
We learned the true depths of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's "small government" philosophy this week when he refused to send federal aid to Joplin, MO after a devastating tornado left the number of dead in the triple digits. "If there is support for a supplemental," said Cantor, "It would be accompanied by support for having pay-fors to that supplemental." We thought Ron Swanson was a fictional character from Pawnee, IN, but apparently he moonlights as a prominent member of Congress.
Harold Camping may be nearly 90 years old, but the degree of fear and paranoia he planted into the minds of his thousands of followers is inexcusable. After the Christian radio host predicted that the Rapture would happen on May 21 "without any shadow of a doubt," and then it didn't so much happen, he had a lot of explaining to do to his followers -- many of whom sold all their earthly possessions in preparation for their ascension to heaven. The fact that he now claims that his math was wrong and the world is now coming to an end on October 21 officially places him in a category of delusion that can only be described as "Trumpian."
No comments:
Post a Comment